Beautiful, I thought to myself as I scurried alongside the road, while walking to work. The day was gorgeous, the sun so revitalizing, so refreshing. It had been raining recently, but today the rain seemed to have disappeared somewhere behind the prevailing shine of the sun. I looked down at my scuttling feet occasionally, noticing the pattern in which they fell down and pounded the floor, the steady rhythm meshing with the beat of my heart created a catchy beat.
"Good morning Cassie!" I smiled as I enunciated my affable neighbour's name aloud, greeting her with an exuberant smile.
"Audrey, good morning, heading to work?" she asked in her sweet, feminine voice, already expecting a yes in return.
"Yes, as usual" I walked away from her leaving her with a smile again.I kept my eyes on Cassie, as she gently pampered her flowers. The sight was so soothing, which made me think the day was so happy already, I couldn't stifle the smile on my face. After adoring the sounds of nature for quite some time, I finally rummaged through my bag to pull out my music. I swayed myself slightly, back, and then forth as I continued striding on the paved sidewalk.
The glass door of the office looked fairly shiny, as if someone had recently cleaned it. I placed my fingers carefully on the knob hoping not to leave any fingerprints behind. As I flung myself inwards, I was greeted by some co-workers.
"Good morning, how are you?" I replied
"Fine, always a pleasure to see you in the morning Audrey" I chuckled aloud to myself feeling so proud to make someone else happy, it somehow made me uncontrollably happy. As I pranced down the corridor of the office, I had tiny conversations with everyone I passed by.
With the movement of my right hand, I flicked on the light switch while stepping into my apartment. I lived there alone, but never felt the feeling of loneliness. I'm lucky. I placed my keys at the small desk near the front door and flung the door shut behind me. Immediately, I hurried towards the living room where I sank into the glory of my sofa.
The TV turned on, and the silence succumbed to the voices flowing out from it. I flipped continuously through the channels, hoping to find something that I would like. I stopped occasionally at a few news channels in curiosity of what was happening in the world, but after enduring through a few moments of boredom I continued surfing between the television channels.
I then heard an odd sound, it was hard to describe, but not unrecognizable. I looked around attentively making sure nothing had gone awry. But it was only after I had lost all fear that I noticed a white paper laying mysteriously on the ground by the floor.
"You are living a lie" I read aloud to myself. I felt shocked, and furthermore entirely flummoxed. Who would push such a letter through the cracks of my apartment door. Within a few seconds, I flung the door open and examined each end of the hall. Who`s there I thought quietly to myself. I phoned my neighbour Cassie right away asking her if she had heard anybody near by or if she had come by my room herself, she replied with a no.
You are living a lie,I spoke out loud to myself a few times.... I ruminated deeply on the possible people who would do this, but I could think of no names.
Feeling defeated, I fell into the arms of my soft bed, and closed my eyes.
I walked blissfully into the office like any other morning, speaking to those who collided into me. After the long walk I sank into the rolling office chair. I sighed in relief that everything was fine so far and that indeed, it was a joke only. My eyes circled around the desk, looking at the pile of work I was intending to start. While doing so, my eyes caught another white squared piece of paper. "Don`t deny it, you`re living a lie." I gasped aloud to myself, noticing a few heads turning to my direction, questioning if everything was alright. I quickly replied with a yes, only proving the words of the message to be true. Everything was not alright, something was surely wrong.
I skipped over towards the boss's room, telling him I didn't feel too well and asking whether or not I could stay at home for the day. He was a kind guy, and his answer was very expected. I quickly picked up all of my belongings from the table and clustered them into the depth of my black bag. I smiled at everyone and headed for the door.
I was home, and I began to think deeply. If this letter was true, in what way would it be? How could I be living a lie? Was my entire life a lie? I began to rethink about my family, were they my real family or was I adopted or lied to in some way or another?
The morning was bright, but not bright enough, I wished that it would rain, and that all of these thoughts would just wash away. I felt guilty asking for another day off from work, but my boss didn't seem to ask me why I was taking time off, he knew I worked hard and I wouldn't unnecessarily do this.
I waited in a clean, cubical room. The results of the DNA test would be here shortly, I felt like laughing at myself for doing this, for suspecting my parents` honesty because of a couple of letters, but it was too late to change that decision.
"Audrey Thompson?" the doctor met his eyes with mine and nodded, affirming that I was the right person. "Your report is here" he handed it over to me reminding me I was most welcome to ask him any additional questions, but I nodded no.
I looked carefully through the pages, and discovered nothing out of the normal. Everything seemed to be fine. I smiled once again, and sighed in relief. There is nothing else that could be a lie in my life I thought, my family is my family, my job is my job, there is nothing amiss here.
So feeling abashed I headed back into my car to once again fade away into the night. How silly I was, I thought.
For the next few days I went back to being myself, I laughed, I smiled, I spoke with everyone. Life seemed to be perfect again. Until I came across another note placed on the steering wheel of my car. How did someone even get into my car? I thought at first.... "Are you really happy?" This time I was baffled by the words on the white squared paper... I didn't want to think about it, but it was inevitable.
As I laid under the soft blankets of my bed I thought to myself over and over again. Am I happy? My colleagues always told me I looked happy, my friends thought I was happy, my neighbours that I was happy...but was I? Was my life really a lie?
I never allowed myself to feel the loneliness of the big city, instead I adored the freedom and the unrestricted movement of it all, but was that enough? I kept asking myself whether I was living a lie or not.
The next morning I walked slowly as I headed to work, I couldn't stand another day at home, the boredom fed my mind with the room to think about all of this. I looked up at the birds flying through the skies, chirping loudly, for the first time, I listened carefully to what they sang.
"Hey Audrey, how are you?" Cassie approached me.
"I`m gr-e-a-a-t....." I replied with a reluctance in my voice... I mumbled a few words to myself, and while doing so I noticed a confusion form across Cassie's face.
This wasn't right. I could lie to everyone else, I could look happy, I could tell them I was not alone, but I could no longer lie to myself. I needed someone, and this facade needed to end. My lips unlocked from each other and opened to let out a few more words...
"Cassie, ummm, I don`t know w-haat to say bb-ut" she cut my words off as she embraced me.
"I know Audrey, I know..."