Monday, February 17, 2014

Twisted Love

It was a warm summer night and I laid my body down on the hot sand beneath me. My friends and I had decided to come to the beach tonight to celebrate my birthday. I didn't really care much for my birthday, it felt like any other day, but the boys insisted.

"Karan...it's your birthday...at least act happy!"

I sighed. I wasn't necessarily sad, but I could find no particular reason to be happy either. Another year had gone by and I still felt the same hatred blocking all four walls around my heart.

My friends of course tried various techniques in cheering me up, coming to the beach was the suggestion of one of my best buddies, Aaron. 

He began to chuckle, "hey Karan look at the girls, I'm sure they could make your day". I laughed it off, but internally hoping that they could. 

"Get up bro and go talk to a girl...you're a master when it comes to girls..too bad you forgot all that after that last witch you came across." Again I sighed thinking of that "last witch", she was certainly a lovely witch. But the thought of her loveliness only gave birth to hate. A year had gone by since she had left me and Kavya seemed to have move on...of course she had, she was after all the one who thought I was heartless. 

I finally had to succumb to the pressure of my friends and find a girl to speak to. I pulled my buried body out of the sand, it felt as if I pulled my corpse out of a coffin. 

Her hair was being blown behind by the force of the breeze and her dress also flared in accordance to the breeze. Her smile lit up my heart erasing the hate that once dwelled there. I wanted to speak to her but I had no words, I think I had lost all my confidence to my previous love. 

I reached forth my arm and suddenly grabbed her long flowing hair, holding it tightly in my grasp. She turned around immediately feeling something tugging at her.

"What the hell is wrong with you?," she said pulling her hair away from me.

"I love your hair...you're just gorgeous," I could see my friends snickering at a distance remembering how much better I once was in approaching girls.

"Congratulations then, love it. Now get lost!" 

"I want to keep it...but for that I'll have to take you with me princess" I questioned my own ability at this.

"Excuse me? Seriously!" Her eyes were brimming of hate...I felt as though I was looking into myself for a moment. This was the same hate I felt for Kavya.

"What's your name?" I asked

"It's not your business," she began to walk away trying to run away from me. I could feel her fear...it was just like my own. I feared falling in love.

"My name is Karan!" I yelled at her...seeing a billion faces turning towards us. But my call when unanswered and she drove away in her car.

I returned back to my friends where an awkward vibe had emerged, it seemed as though they regretted ever asking me to approach a girl.

"I'm going to find that girl again," they all glared at me and sighed in disbelief.

"Come on man, let's just go.

.....

A few weeks later, I was elated to see her long tresses again. She was at the gym and her hair bounced up and down as she ran on the treadmill. I decided again to be a maniac and grab her hair. In the moment's confusion and by the restraint of her captured hair, she slipped, and I caught her.

"Let go of me! What's your problem man? I'm going to involve the police if you don't stop harassing me!"

"But I'm in love with you...your beautiful eyes..your long hair..aaah."

"Come with me," she pulled me towards her bag and together we rushed out of the gym onto the busy street. After rummaging through her things for a while, she pulled out a pair of scissors.

"You like me so much right? You like my hair the most...here you can have it," she passed me the scissors, "here cut as much as you want", my jaw dropped, "why are you so shocked, feel free!". Her eyes raged with hate and it seemed like she would soon stab me with the scissors in her hand. 

"Look Miss...I didn't mean it"

"No no, why not? My name is Meera..do you want my address too?" she said all of this while snatching the scissors away from me and into her own hands...She flummoxed me to a point I could not understand. Yet she also shocked me.

She took the scissors in her own hands and suddenly chopped off all the hair resting loosely beneath her hairtie. She picked it up and passed it to me.

"Here you go! Do you want anything else or can I leave now?" I had no words to say to her, instead I stared at the hair I held in my hands as she rushed away. I didn't know if I hated her for cutting off the beautiful hair or if I loved the hate that she possessed in the first place. She had something different to her.

"I hate you," she screamed while she turned the corner, I replied with a whisper of "I love you."


.....

I wasn't decent after that incident though, I became even more shameless. I grew in love with her hate, her power, her courage, she was like my mirror. I searched her up on Facebook and Googled anything I could find. Meera was a mystery I wanted to solve...I wanted her to hate me. And of course, I did find her.

The next she I saw her, she flaunted around in a beautiful bob cut. I wasn't any less though, I had shaved off my hair in tribute to my love, Meera.

She didn't recognize me. 

"Meera, can you not recognize Karan with his hair gone? I still recognize you!," this was the first time she laughed at something I had said. 

"Did you really?," she chuckled.

"Anything for you baby...you did it for me too," I smiled back, "I loved your hair and you gave it, now you ask me for what you want"

She smiled back at me, "I'll let you know soon". I pulled her body towards me and placed my lips on hers, she looked up at me in hatred, but she didn't stop me. A few moments later she slowly pulled herself away from me.

"I know what I want from you," her lips curved into a smile, but her eyes still showing hate, "I want to hate you forever."

I pulled her close to me again and began kissing her.

....

The following day I knocked on her door and she opened the door. 

"You wanted to hate me forever right?" She smiled in approval, "well there's only one way you could do that...you already hate me, let's just make it forever."

 I pulled out a ring and didn't bother to propose, I forced the ring onto her finger and embraced her. She looked at me in shock, her eyes full of love and full of hate. She didn't know how to feel, I didn't know how to feel either. 

"You didn't even bother to ask for my yes or no?"

"I didn't want you to fall in love with me."

"I would have hated you for asking." She smiled.

Written for Chuck Wendig's Flash Fiction Challenge: Twisted Love

(P.S - inspired by a few people, a TV series, and the prompt - all squashed together. Hopefully it worked)

Monday, February 3, 2014

Migration

Now that I have finally reverted to my normal self, it's only you I wait for. We both strayed silently from who we were. We were astray from ourselves and from the precious relationship we shared. Now I have subtly sauntered back to where we once stood with our wings combined. You aren't here yet. My eyes look around for you but you aren't anywhere that my eyes could possibly reach. I had always dreamt of this day, the day that I could be myself again..but never had I foreseen this. I could not envision and still cannot believe that even after my arrival to a place I like to call home, I would come home to your absence. You aren't here, for you still lurk quietly around. I wonder, are you searching for your way back? Or have you acclimatized to a new home? Dear bird of mine, the endless cold winter is now over. We migrated so far away, but not so far that we cannot fly back. Dear bird flutter your wings gracefully in the direction of our home, for I still wait for you. I will wait forever. 

------------------------------

We could feel the invigorating summer be drained of its glory...both Fiery and I started to imagine the days we would have to spend in flight to evade the coldness that would soon take over this world. The summer lasted almost endlessly, but even endlessly had an end hiding within it. We knew that after all the joy that we shared together on this tree, we'd have to move away from it. For despite our tenacity to our joy, we knew that life had it seasons that would rotate forever. There was no escape to the phases life had to offer us, and neither did we need that escape. We both would venture together to another home, leaving this one behind. We didn't worry because we knew home wasn't this very tree, home was the feeling in our hearts when we flew in  the open air together.

Saying goodbye to our special tree, Fiery and I linked our wings and began to fly far off. I could see the tears trickling down her tiny face. It felt like I was looking into a mirror, as I felt the very same tears race down my face. We were like that, Fiery and I, we grew together often mirroring the tiny graces of each other. 

As we flew for a few days, taking tiny breaks, we forgot about how our previous tree even looked. I tried hard to muster an image of my treasured home inside the eyes of my mind but I could not do so. Each time I imagined a branch, the image somehow extended into a different tree - it resembled any tree I passed. Home wasn't this physical place, for I could not even remember such a place. I knew that as long Fiery and Arie flew side by side, no gust of wind or lash of rain could pull us away from home.

On the fifth day of our everlasting flight, the lashing rain began to burst. Each droplet of sparkling rain felt like a whip against my wings. I soon realized it was not rain, this was hail. Fiery turned around, looking absolutely frightening and flummoxed, she could not think of what to do to escape the pain. 

"Fiery...we need to find shelter," the rest of the communication happened between our eyes. I quickly flew underneath the leaves of the closest tree I could find. I closed my eyes waiting for time to pass. 

When I finally opened my eyes again, I was told by another bird that we were only a few hours away from our new home. This would be the home where Fiery and I would ensconce on the flowery branches for the next few months. As I began to fly I realized that I had been so lost in dreaming about how Fiery and I would spend the upcoming days that I did not realize Fiery was nowhere to be seen. I searched through the entire flock of us birds, but I could not find her. I even slowly returned to the tree where I wilted into sleep on yesterday's tormenting night, but I could not find her anywhere. She was lost. 

After trying as hard as I could, I thought perhaps Fiery had gotten a head start and I should fly ahead with the rest of the flock to find her. But when I opened up my wings to fly, I could see no flock. I had spent so long trying to find Fiery, I had even lost myself. Where was I? Where was she? Where was home? Home was certainly nowhere here, this was loneliness in its cruelest form.

With no strength to fly in any direction, I fell asleep underneath the same leaves that kept me hidden from the hail yesterday. I shivered all night. 

A few months passed in solitude. A tiny bird sat alone on an empty branch beneath the falling rain for months. The only companion I had was the bittersweet rain, who sometimes lashed me and sometimes lulled me to sleep. There was no sun. This was the transcendence of grief, to which I was the sole receiver it seemed. I worried about Fiery more than I did about myself, was she okay? Yet with passing time, I had become appallingly addicted to the melancholy that held me tightly. I mirrored the melancholy's grip on me, I held on tightly. For we both needed each other. 

A few months later, I saw the same flock of birds coming my way- heading back home. My face lit up and sparkled with bliss, finally I was no longer lonely. Now I could be myself again. I immediately embraced my mother who seemed ever so worried for me. It was not everyday that a tiny bird went astray. 

As we flew back to our old precious home, I could feel the heat emanating from the sun and filling up the entire sky. I asked my mother if she had heard anything of Fiery. Fiery had gone in the same direction as I had. In searching for me, she too had lost herself.

Upon reaching home, I sat on the branch where Fiery and I would usually sing our songs of bliss, where we'd whimsically serenade. I now only wondered when she'd come back home, for I knew that every lost bird is always found. The wait would be long, endless, but this branch was strong, it held me tightly. The other birds often explained that Fiery may be lost forever, but I knew she'd be back. For every season sees its end, and every bird her friend. I waited patiently. I still do.